Overheard in Sharkeyville

Me: Hey, do you hear that?
J.P.: What?
Me: Shhh . . . just listen. There. That. Hear it?
J.P.: [listening intently] I don't hear anything.
Me: It's a chocolate chip cookie, calling to me from the kitchen.
J.P.: Are you sure it's the cookie calling? 'Cause it could be your ass calling to the cookie.