*woof* Hello?
Mom? *woof*
Hey! Mom! Could I get a little something to eat over here? Can't you see how pathetic I look?
You've cut me back to five meals and four snacks a day, and I'm wasting away! *whine* You know, I could help you with the rest of that ice cream. It looks like a lot for you. Oh—you're finished? Didja know that I'm a great dish washer? I can have that bowl clean, lickety-split!
I don't know why you think I look like a barrel on legs. I think my new figure is quite shapely. Even if *grunt* my collar is a bit tight these days.
What's that I hear? Hmmm . . . it sounds like Dad, opening the bag of cookies downstairs. See ya later!
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